Introduction
Shout to the world
Just a few short years ago, social circles were small. Today, it is possible to connect to an array of people worldwide at the click of a button. Social media gave us a megaphone to share ideas and images loud and clear.
In 2019, researchers estimated that about 80% of the UK population uses social media daily. We post and share, update and chat. But there are larger implications that most of us don’t even consider.
During a divorce, many solicitors won’t hesitate to use social media evidence in court proceedings. In more than half of divorce cases, Facebook evidence is one of the principal evidence sources.
Diaries, cancelled cheques, calendars, and secretly recorded conversations were the way to go before social media. Today, most, if not all, of this old-fashioned type of evidence has been replaced with social media evidence.
The cause for divorce
Research has shown that people with a large social media footprint are more likely to stray from their romantic partners. There is also a link between excessive social media use and the quality of a marriage relationship. Real-life relationships suffer under the hammering of social media. Some studies even show that one in seven divorce cases had social media play a part in one form or another.
Scrolling through Facebook and Instagram, you see so many ‘perfect’ marriages, full of date nights and selfies with smiling spouses. It is only natural to compare your marriage to this perceived perfection. (The reality, of course, can be much different.)
The role of social media in divorce: why is it a problem?
Financials for asset division
Financial disclosure in divorce proceedings should be genuine and accurate so that asset division can happen fairly. Therefore, finances from both partners are closely scrutinised, and social media posts can indicate whether someone is being truthful about their assets or income.
Social media posts can show that you have lavish expenses and can be interpreted that you have a higher income than you disclosed. Even sites like LinkedIn can give a more actual picture of your employment situation or business performance that can work against you.
‘Were you true to your partner?’
If you joined a dating site or sought out a new romantic interest during your marriage, the evidence is there in the social sphere to find. Unfortunately, even innocent postings can harm your divorce case, mainly if it shows a recurring theme.
Yes, it is no longer needed to prove ‘fault’ at the time of divorce in the UK, but a solicitor can still use this evidence against you, say if you used family funds during your infidelity.
Parental Neglect
Social media postings of reckless behaviour (staying out late, partying with friends) can endanger your guardianship over your children and can be used against you in divorce. It needn’t even be your own behaviour, but also that of your friends or new partner, as the following cases illustrate.
Bramble v. Bramble
The parties to this divorce case were a mother, a father and a daughter. Although the father was the residential parent during the school year, the couple shared supervisory rights, and they shared time during the summer. The mother appealed as she wanted more time with her daughter, but she did not win.
The problem was the mother’s new live-in boyfriend. She allowed him to move in after knowing him for only five months. Social media postings showed him naked in a hot tub with other people. He also wrote on Facebook a seemingly humorous post about how his ‘alcoholic’ breath offended the girl. The court based its decision not to award more time to the mother on the boyfriend’s Facebook postings and social media evidence of ‘bad behaviour.’
Sisson v. Sisson
The dad filed an application for a change of guardianship and emergency relief. The mother, he said, has been unstable since the divorce. She drank, changed jobs frequently, moved house more than once and exposed the kids to different boyfriends. The dad testified that he had been monitoring one of the children’s Facebook pages and saw a reference to a ‘Mr. Root.’
He started to delve and found out that this boyfriend had a history of violence against women and children. At first, the court dismissed that dad’s evidence as speculative.
Still, the Court of Appeal reversed on the basis that one cannot wait until the kids are actually harmed before changing their circumstances and their guardianship. We don’t know how much weight was given to the Facebook postings, but it did play a role in the outcome and the Appellate Court’s decision.
How to handle social media while you are getting divorced.
The best option might be to shut down all social media pages for a while as you are going through the period of divorce. However, should you find that impossible, it might help to keep the following in mind:
- Privacy settings. Keep your settings private so that you know who is seeing your posts. However, don’t rely on this exclusively as it can be challenging to manage effectively. Instead, assume that anyone can see your posts and proceed with caution. Unfollow your ex, your ex’s family and mutual friends. It is easy for people to switch sides during a divorce and reveal confidentially shared information. Unfortunately, blood is thicker than water, and your ex can quickly twist a conversation with your in-laws or mutual friends into an unrecognisable story in which you are the villain.
- Anything can be taken out of context. Carefully censor what you post, and don’t post anything that your ex can use against you. Ask your friends and family to help you in this and not post anything about you on their profiles. Solicitors advise this rule of thumb: If you can imagine the post being read out loud in a court of law and you are ok with it – by all means, post it!
- The urge to erase. Resist the urge to delete old social media posts to make yourself look better. Instead, control what you can from this day forward, rather than dwell on the past. Deleting past posts can only worsen your case. Think of them like tattoos – they continue to exist in the ether, no matter what you do.
- Social media as your psychologist. Divorce is tough on kids. Ensure they know who they can talk to and warn them against using the online community as a therapist. Don’t talk about your legal case online or with trusted friends on social media. Many friends may not be as trustworthy as you think and may reveal shared information.
- The 24-hour rule of communication. If your ex sends you anything on social media, wait 24 hours before reacting. Even then, don’t engage in hostile exchanges. Instead, be concise and polite and focus on the essential subject matter. It is a good idea to not even reply to non-essential content like a general complaint or gossip.
Conclusion
Social media is here to stay
The old-fashioned pre-social media documents still have a place in divorce proceedings, but current social media evidence has made a massive dent in it.
Don’t give your ex-spouse (or his or her solicitor) any reason to use your own words and postings against you. Although getting those Instagram likes can feel great at the time, it is not worth the hassle it can cause in your divorce proceedings.
Put your social media on ice for a few months until the dust has settled – it is solid advice that can only benefit you in the long run. However, if you find yourself in a dilemma – don’t worry! At Robertsons Family Law, we are happy to answer your questions and help where we can.
